Diary: Witches & Mystery Packages

This week was another week full of heat and sunshine, which meant a considerable amount of ice cream was needed (for health reasons). I've been feeling pretty good this week in general and super motivated to draw some things and write some things, so I'm very happy about that, despite the endless sweaty sheen on my forehead.

I've been reading The Penguin Book of Witches, which is a fun book detailing lots of witch trials from the 1600s. It's very weird and very fascinating. I'm really interested in medieval (and post-medieval) belief in magic and how that relates to religious belief at the time. Lots of stuff about the devil.

I also had an incredible tiramisu, which was definitely magic.

I've been putting together some mystery packages and sending a few out, so that's been a really nice thing. I love making packages and decorating them.


Are you in the market for a personal blog post? One which references emotions and thoughts? "Ew, gross!" I hear you cry. Hold on to your feelings hat (it's just a hat that says "feelings" on it that I wear whenever I am having a feeling, sorry - I thought everyone had one).

I've titled this post "death" mostly just to be dramatic, but y'know, okay, yes, I think about death and dying a lot. Not in a miserable way, but in a sort of trance-like fascination. When I was growing up I wasn't scared of dying. Not at all. I thought it almost sounded quite cool, actually. I mean, I didn't want to die. I wasn't excited to die, but I just thought of it as a kind of cool inevitability. I also was quite matter of fact about death, which I definitely attribute in part to the death of my dad when I was four. I think being exposed to a close bereavement at a young age allowed me to feel somewhat accustomed to death. I remember being upset, but very quickly accepting it.

I guess we all have very personal relationships with death, and different perceptions of it. I think I'm a lot more afraid of it now, but I also find the inevitability of it comforting in a similar way to how I find the vastness of space comforting. I love being a tiny, irrelevant speck in the universe. I love that nothing matters and everything will ultimately cease to exist in some way. I love impermanence.

I also love cool grim reapers (like George from Dead Like Me, pictured above). I mean, I don't know, I could be a grim reaper. I actually really wanted to be a gravedigger for a while, but I'm not a huge fan of digging so it's probably not the best career move for me. If anyone has any grim reaper networking opportunities please let me know.

5 Favourite Videos: Minimalism

One thing I find really comforting and relaxing as well as super inspiring and often informative is watching decluttering and minimalism videos on YouTube. Whether it's watching someone clean up their room or organise their drawers, or watching someone talk about how they decided to sell their wedding wing and replace it with a $1 version, I love this subject as a whole.

Life is endlessly weird and I feel personally that a lot of stability can come from giving lots of thought attention to questions about self-identity and the way I exist on a mental or physical level level with everything around me. Since objects and space are often somewhat controllable compared to my actual self, I find it so calming and enjoyable to do things like organising and decluttering and I also love to think about it and watch other people do it and talk about it.

I also feel like minimalism and certain ideas or aesthetics within minimalism can appear quite alienating, so I thought it be useful to compile some of my favourite videos about minimalism or minimalist concepts that I think are accessible and fun.

1. Declutter Your Life: Less Stuff, Less Stress! Part 1 - Christine Kobzeff

This is a simple video of a woman cleaning up her room and talking about it. There are several subsequent parts in which she declutters and rearranges pretty much her whole house. It's really interesting seeing how her reasoning changes a bit as she goes along, and really satisfying seeing the results.


A nice talk about how we use items and purchases as measures of success/love/happiness and the possibility for sentimentality in cheap gifts.

3. My journey to Minimalism - Part 1 - Average Jane

Sock drawer organisation. My favourite.

4. Minimalism: What I Stopped Buying! - Sarah Nourse

I find it so interesting what people realise they don't need to have in their lives at all after reassessing what they buy and why, so this is a really nice, succinct video about all the things one person decided she no longer needed or wanted.

5. Minimalism Challenge Day 1: Purse | #5DaystoMinimalism - Lavendaire

Lavendaire has been doing a series of mini decluttering challenges which are very simple and fun to watch.

I'd also like to give an honourable mention to this '5 Days of Minimalism' Refinery29 video which comes from a series of videos about week-long lifestyle challenges. I'm so relaxed and ready to perfect the alignment of my teddy bears.

Evil Flowers & Other Delights

Here are some miscellaneous journal pages, featuring this evil flower. Possibly my best original character, who is sure to have his own TV series and range of themed cutlery soon.

Also, here's a diagram of me having a good time. It shows all the signs to look for in order to deduce that I'm having a good time. Useful.

And finally, here is a nice and cool wholesome drawing, of the type I would like to create many more of. Good. Thanks.


Here I am in the darkness where I belong. Lurking, and other fun activities (creeping, sneaking, etc). It's funny how we depend on light to see things. You ever think about that? It's weird.

I've been thinking lately about liminal spaces (in part thanks to this Tumblr post going around) and I realise they are the most calming and soothing and normal-feeling places to be in. I love being in some threshold as if time stands still. I've always loved hospitals because they feel timeless and endless and strange in a way that feels more like home than anything. They feel safe and magical and unreal. It's like I live in the inbetweens, in the times where everyone sleeps, in all the invisible places.

I don't know, I love them so much.

Totoro is also here with me because he loves the hollow, endless dark.

Happy Home Designer: Scoot's Island Poolhouse

This is Scoot. He asked me to get him a house with a pool so he can work on his water polo skills. I took him to a beautiful, sunny peninsula so he can also use the sea as his own personal garden pool. True luxury.

Here he is surveying his indoor pool.

After decorating for a while, we decided to take a nap on Scoot's newly installed pool chairs. We're close friends by now. I mean, I don't nap in all my clients' houses (okay, I do).

Scoot seems to have developed something of a strained relationship with the paddling pool duck here. I hope they can learn to get along.

Seems one nap wasn't enough for him.

So we're all done and I think he's pretty pleased. We got some home comforts, we got a refreshing coconut drink by the pool, we got a seagull hanging from the ceiling. All good things.

The garden also has a nice little stump for sitting on and contemplating life.

Another house done and another duck pleased!

Freddo Forever

I'm not usually one to develop obsessions with corporate entities, but this fabulous frog mascot is an exception. Maybe because Freddos were always one of my favourite chocolate thingies as a kid, but also because I feel like he just has so much personality. He's got some secrets, I bet.

I mean, just look deep into his eyes and you can tell that he has a great love of classic Russian literature and wine-tasting. He's an educated frog with a lot of thoughts on both global economics and biochemical analysis of free will. He also loves the Cha Cha Slide and collects the glares of strangers in a jar.

I love him.

Diary: Fried Brain & Books

I spent this week watching a ridiculous amount of YouTube videos. My brain has been a bit fried, so it's the easiest thing to do and I can watch them whilst doing other little things, which is nice. I'm really looking forward to when the weather starts to cool down. The heat across the past month or so has made me feel so sluggish, and I'm really missing my big jumpers and cardigans now. Bring on Autumn!

Since over half of 2016 has been and gone, I've been thinking about my reading progress throughout the year so far, and I'm very happy with my current count of forty two books read. I'd like to aim for a hundred books in total by the new year, but that's very ambitious. I'd have to read three books a week from now on. That's a lot. Still, it's just an idle thought. I'm not going to force myself to read more than I can actually enjoy.

I feel so sleepy at the moment. I want to go to a party and sleep at the same time. Combine those two things for me and I will be very happy.


The ponytail is a magical creature and talisman. It holds its own little secrets (and some hair). It also maintains a satisfying bouncing motion when walking or running, and I'm pretty sure it would fight any enemy.

There must be a link somewhere between ponytail and fairytale. Often we think of long, flowing, unrestricted hair as a fairytale element. The hair holds great power and mysticism in many places and across many stories, but what about the unassuming ponytail?

The ponytail lurks unnoticed, practical and innocent. It's a tiny cove of secrets (and some hair).

Various Things

I've started using just a single black pen to draw things and I realised I haven't really done that in a long time. I usually try to pair up two nice colours and pay attention to how they work together to enhance the detail and create a nice little visual harmony, but wow, I miss drawing things with one pen.

Here are a bunch of miscellaneous drawings from my journal. All of them are my soul.

Red Hearts & Socks

Here's some red. The colour of postboxes and blood. Sometimes my favourite thing to draw is miscellany. Everything in a pile. Bundled items and personalities. Everything fits that way. Everything is miscellany.

I've been eating a lot of peanut butter lately. A forever favourite of mine for sandwiches and strength. Peanut butter on toast and peanut butter in my heart. There's something about it that feels especially nourishing to me. Partly just because it's something fatty yet relatively healthy, and partly because it's a breakfast staple and breakfast staples start to feel like family.

I'm not sure why I started talking about peanut butter in this post about red drawings, but I guess that's just the focus of my heart's heart right now. It's a lovely little miscellany.

The Best Things I've Ever Done

Sometimes I can't sleep at night because my brain decides it's a good time to roll out the slideshow of Lil's perceived failures, and sometimes I don't even know how to combat that because it's a sneaky surprise attack - a gift box of pointless embarrassment when I was expecting a nice dream about ponies frolicking in the fields.

So in response to this unpleasant phenomenon, I'm going to aggressively list the things I'm most happy to have done and experienced across my life. Here goes.

1. Played in a football tournament aged eight.

When I was a kid I really liked football. I was never a fan of watching it (I couldn't understand why I should support England or care what they did in any way just because I happen to be in the country that is also called England), but I enjoyed playing. I was never really competitive with sports and just liked playing the game. I was okay skills-wise at football and usually played midfield or something vaguely resembling that, and this tournament was a round of matches between local first schools.

I had recently changed schools, so my first year was also my last year at my second first school, and I missed my friends from the old school. I got the surprise of my life when I found out that the participating team from my old school had two of my best friends on it, and we ran towards each other like a pack of dogs reuniting. We were probably also yelping excitedly. I don't remember how my team did in the tournament, but it was fun.

2. Started this blog.

I wrote my first post here in 2012 because I had been wandering around a shopping centre looking at kids' magazines and trying on clothes. I wanted to record the small things that I enjoyed in that kind of a setting so that I could look back on specific moments I would otherwise forget. I guess at the time I didn't really have other avenues to express my thoughts and feelings, so I relished getting to keep any kind of diary that could almost act as another person and friend, and maybe be seen by other people.

It was therapeutic and expressive from the outset and I needed something like it to be my creative and personal pensieve, looking back. I know more people are reading my blog posts now, but it still feels more or less the same. It's a home for me and my thoughts.

3. Changed how I thought.

I think so many of the positive events, changes, and times in my life have been due to actively willing myself to think differently or really deconstructing how and why I do, think, and feel things. Even with simple enough things like looking in my wardrobe and asking myself why I am keeping each item, it has really helped me to be present and understand what drives my decisions and emotions. From that I can figure out what is the most beneficial way to look at something. I could complain about something I don't like about myself forever, or I could take time to concentrate on what I like instead. Stuff like that.

4. Met Bill Bailey.

I met Bill Bailey after a show once and we talked about how great Gary Numan is. It was nice. This is such an incidental thing, but it makes me happy.

5. Iceland.

This is actually more of a placeholder for all the holidays I've taken, but Iceland was the most recent one, and was a 'bucket list' kind of place I wanted to go, so I'm especially happy about it, even though it was one of my more challenging holidays. One day I'm gonna go to Tokyo, and it will be the ultimate, and after that there will be no specific travel goals or dreams and going anywhere will be perfect (I mean, going anywhere is already perfect, but after Japan I think I'll feel like the whole world is my place).


These are the first five things I thought of and are by no means exhaustive, because there are a thousand tiny things that are also the best, like eating a good meal, meeting a cat, or reading an amazing book for the first/second/fifteenth time. The point is, there's good. I'll sit and chant that to myself in front of a string of candles. There's good, there's good, there's good.

Stars In Your Hair: Zaful Haul

I was sent some cool clothing and accessories to review by Zaful, so here are my thoughts on the fun collection of items I received.

My favourite item was this top with a delicate little turtleneck. I was really impressed by the quality and fit of this item. It's super soft and flattering, and I can pair this with just about anything. I find it quite difficult to find tops that fit just right, so it was a pleasant surprise to find this one fit and felt so perfect.

I also got this cute red maxi dress, and unfortunately this item represents the hit and miss quality all too present with online retailers like Zaful. I can't speak to the site's overall quality considering I have one questionable garment and one really high quality garment, but the uncomfortable synthetic material combined with the weird cut and stitching on this dress are disappointing. It doesn't look too bad, but it doesn't feel too comfortable to wear.

I think one area Zaful shines has got to be its accessories. There are some really cute, quirky, and strange things to be found on the site (like this bizarre and beautiful crocodile and pearl jewellery set). I was sent a set of rings, two pairs of sunglasses (here and here), a shell wrap necklace, and my personal favourite: a stars and moon hair clip and slide set. The idea of wearing stars in my hair is the best thing, and they look so understated and pretty.

The rings are also really fun because they're so stackable. I really enjoy making ring combinations, and they all go nicely together.

The sunglasses are quite fashion-focused but not too ostentatious I think, although they do look quite large on my small head, but I guess that can't be helped. I really like the red lenses and the cat eye look.

Overall I think Zaful has a pleasantly eclectic catalogue of items and it feels like it has a unique and fun quality to it. I'd be really interested to see how their other tops compare to each other in terms of quality and fit.

Diary: Sleep & Literary Pain

This week involved mostly these three things: sleep, Summer in the City, and Wuthering Heights.

Summer in the City was fun! I met some very nice and lovely friends and then experienced some delightful muscle aches in the neck and shoulder area. Top notch enjoyable bodily sensation time! Seriously though, it was so nice to meet some YouTube friends in person for the first time and make weird jokes at them (to test their endurance).

I was also glad to finish Wuthering Heights because now I can no longer feel emotion and doctors estimate I will remain this way for at least ten years.